A Day As A rubbish Collecter -Well, Sort Of
@ 11:56 PM
On Sunday, I have enough of my blond streaks...too Ah Lian-ish, so I decided to dye my whole hair, hopefully to cover the blonds (again!). After that I throw my whole dyeing products in the plastic bag and do my own stuff. Until I heard a chirping sound. I remember my handphone at once (I have a whistling bird sound for message tone). Then what a real shock I have then. Because from what I can recall, when I purchase the product, I put my wallet, handphone and my cardholder(containing my EZ-Link, Nets card and my IC) in that plastic bag. I don't recall taking it out. I try to convince myself that subconciously, I might have BUT I did not. I beg my brother to come down with me and drag my sister along too to the main dustbin downstairs. Luckily they did not lock it. Lucky for me the second time, there were only few(but smelly) plastic bags. Luckily I remember exactly what is the plastic bag I used. And Thank God it was Sunday so there is not much people in the neighbourhood outside. Imagine how i covered my hand with plastic bag (which thanks to my sis, bring it down along with her) and rummage through the rubbish. Luckily I manage to find the right plastic bag after the 2nd plastic bag attempt in about 2 minutes.
That was one such shocking experience I have. My mom, sister and brother couldn't believe how careless and absent-minded I can be because at home, I seemed to know where everything is even when I am in a daze and I am always careful with my stuff. What went wrong, I could only blame the mental stress and the psychological torture I gain from working life. (*hint..this is a cry for help).
Nadiah, Out.
Nadiah.
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I Miss...
@ 10:50 PM
I miss waking up late.
I miss staring into space thinking of nothing.
I miss being useless.
I miss hoping for miracles.
I miss worrying about my future.
I miss having fun.
I miss good, hearty laugh.
I miss being happy, having pure bliss.
I miss being a bubble-head.
I miss going to school.
I miss looking out for *ehem* in canteen 1. *Grins*
I miss having silly crushes.
I miss being alone, havine ME time.
I miss walking around with no purpose.
I miss all my friends. Sorry guys, I have no more spare time for all of you.
I miss smiling my genuine smile.
I miss being myself.
I am losing touch of who I am and I don't like it, and don't want it to happen. So...still counting my days where i'll be parting from the major cause of my unhappiness.
In the meantime, another week of labor to be done. Smile for me :)
Nadiah.
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This Really Sucks
@ 12:11 AM
I hate my job. I felt I am overworked, underpaid and undermotivated. I have no qualms in working late and still have to go to work the next day but don't expect me to do quality job. It's either quality or quantity. It will never be both, especially not when I felt that my presence and effort there were not appreciated. I may seem not to be trying, not to be doing my job BUT seriously, I did my best, despite knowing that this job is impossible for me. I know sometimes it is demanding but did I ever tell a straight NO, that it is impossible to achieve? I never say that! In fact, I just nod my acknowledgement and went back to trying to achieve the impossibly high target.
They say that if I am unhappy about something, just say it out. I did. Itry. But NOBODY listens to me. So I don't bother anymore. Don't want to waste my breathe, time, energy, concentration and don't want to spoil my mood.
There. I've said it...My thoughts of the job.
So...I'll still be reciting my parting speech every morning in the toilet till
(1) the day I have the courage,
(2)I am sure I want out, and
(3)I have enough of these.
Nadiah.
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I need retail theraphy.
@ 7:33 PM
I need retail theraphy! Its the only time I can be selfish and to satisfy my personal needs without worrying about what others will think of me.
Its been 3 weeks since I start a full time job. And full time it is, spending almost 12 hours everyday of my weekdays. I have no more social life. Or even time to myself. Everyday I woke up, go to work, have lunch, come home, eat dinner while watching tv and then sleep. This is no life for me. I cannot live with a routine timetable. By the time weekends come, I'll be too exhausted to do anything. Everyday, the thought of getting out of this job comes to mind. But I don't want to waste time looking for another job, probably the same kind...
Its never easy having to fulfill the demands of everyone. Funny thing is, my position is a fulfillment officer. Hahah. Demands, demands, demands...Expectations, expectations, expectations...
And its no fun at work. There's no one who is really fun to hang out with...having to watch what I'm saying all the time. Sometimes I feel they are too uptight. They need to let go, let the hair down! And this advice should go to me too!
I need retail theraphy badly!
Nadiah.
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